Every Day Should Be a Good Day to Die…

After several days of barely being able to listen to a Dave Matthews Band song without tearing up, I think I’ve finally come to terms with LeRoi Moore’s death.

I know. It’s ridiculous. I didn’t know the man. I don’t know the band personally. But I’ve been a fan of DMB since 1994, and it’s difficult to realize that the band is no longer the same. And while rock history is littered with bands who have carried on after losing a member/s, no matter how the Dave Matthews Band chooses to go on, they will no longer be the “founding five.” And that’s just sad.

I feel like I owe Roi and the band at least a little bit of grieving at this difficult time. 2005 was filled with watershed moments for me, but the most difficult of these was losing my grandfather. I’d lost other family members, but none were quite as close to me as he was. He was not only my “Papa,” but he was also a great pal and my personal hero in many respects. I’ve never cried harder than I did at his funeral, and I still sort of hate going to family gatherings even three years on because I know that he won’t be there. And yet I still expect to see him, and every time I look for him and see nothing but a void.

A few days after Papa’s funeral, I’m driving to work with DMB’s Busted Stuff in my CD player. And “You Never Know” comes on, which had never been one of my favorite songs. But I hadn’t quite dealt with his death yet, so I’m a little too inside my own head (never a good thing when speeding down the Bronx River Parkway) and, consequently, I don’t change the track. And then suddenly, I hear the lyrics almost if I’m hearing them for the first time:

There’s not a moment to lose in the game

Don’t let the troubles in your head

Steal too much time

You’ll soon be dead

So play…

And, suddenly, I got it. By the time, Dave sang “But every day should be a good day to die,” I was almost in tears. 

“You Never Know”

Damn right, you don’t. 

We need to live life so that “every day should be a good day to die.” We can’t take a second of this life for granted, and can’t spare a second not at least attempting to live our dreams. Because you never know if this second might be your last.

Some people might take the lyrics to “You Never Know” to be morbid and depressing, but I see them as inspiring. I took the sadness I was feeling over my grandfather’s death, along with the lessons I’d learned from some other epiphanies I’d had earlier in the year, and committed myself to finishing the first draft of a novel less than six months later. And while I hope that novel gets published someday, just in writing it I feel like I’ve honored my grandfather and how proud he always was of me. And I’ve honored myself and my dreams. And I’ve honored the band that continues to inspire me on an almost daily basis.

So as I’ve done so many times, I just want to thank Dave, Carter, Boyd, Stefan, and, especially at this moment, Leroi–the original five–for giving me and the rest of the world countless hours of music to listen to and dream by.

Don’t lose the dreams inside your head

They’ll only be there until you’re dead

Dream…